Ce monde, tel qu'il est fait, n'est pas supportable. J'ai donc besoin de la lune, ou de bonheur, ou de l'immortalité, de quelque chose qui soit dément peut-être, mais qui ne soit pas de ce monde.
The world, such as it is, is unendurable. That's why I need the moon, or happiness, or immortality, something strange and twisted, perhaps, but something not of this world.(110)
longer to do that two line translation (thrown by the punctuation of all things).
longer since i posted.
the thoughts i've had in the meantime are sludging at the bottom of my brain like so many slimy fallen leaves. maybe when i scrape off the inside of my head they will have left marks and if so, maybe the floor of my head is concrete.
on saturday, when i got in from shredding leaves, i found my mother and sister putting up christmas decorations with festive music playing in the background. i almost laughed at how sudden and complete the change was (i instantly thought about writing about it here). there was no in between time of wishing for winter break or cold weather or pulling things out of the attic, just one moment pushing leaves through the shredder and then next full out christmas. it's a comment on being shortsighted. when i said i was only worried about running a marathon (check!) and getting a visa (...) i wasn't trying to exclude thinking about anything else, but i guess i have been shortsighted. i like to think break gave me a bit longer scope.
i could keep writing, but i'm giving up my computer so thomas can do toefl training while his computer's out. maybe that means i'll get something done. i see reading in my future. as opposed to math homework. at least it's not final fantasy (into which i happened to sink four or so hours today). so there
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