Dieu lui-même ne peut maintenant nous séparer

i am very conscious of my body, and it feels terribly good.

i forgot that my class was cancelled today. i went anyways, so i ended up having an hour and a half free. bonus time, stolen time. i went to the park and sat underneath the tree and read la peste. it was perfect, in that i got to exactly where i wanted to be in the reading and got inspired in a different way too. i was listening to bright eyes.

i ended up pitching trees as a metaphor for god. i like it, especially in that thomas doesnt think trees can love, but he likes god. trees capture the indifference of god insofar as there is evil in the world. and anyways, infinitude implies unconsciousness. god cares the way trees do: not by caring, but by being caring.

and how could god have a self anything like the way people do. a finite number of finite, in particular épuisable, people on the globe don't have any way to break down anything infinite. and so the blind atheist concludes that god is nothing, that this tree doesn't have a brain or heart, and thus cannot love.

and it's true that you can't walk up to a tree trunk and say "do you love me?" and it's also true that it does.

———

in other news, i'm doing good in school. the biggest things i have to worry about are getting a visa and running 26 miles. if i can do those, then i'll be in good shape. which is a funny thing to say seeing as i have the hardest midterm in 20 minutes. i'm saying it'll go well, now that i've calmed myself down.

maybe i'll post my playlist later, and maybe i'll go do something productive instead. that's all the choices i'm giving myself (for now).